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2017 WENDY CORREEN SMITH. Powered by Blogger.


Magnolia At Nine Months & Our Thoughts On More

November and fall is the season to celebrate thankfulness. Gratitude is a topic that is dear to me. When I look at the photos we had taken to remember our sweet Magnolia at nine months, all I can see is gratitude. Our letter board that sits on the fireplace mantle currently reads, "If the only prayer you said was THANK YOU, that would be enough." It was during our journey to Magnolia, on the days we questioned whether this dream we are living would come to life, that we had to practice thankfulness despite the trial. I learned how important it is to look for and praise the blessings during the trials of our life. Not a day goes by that I don't think about all the moments I asked God for this life that I'm living. God has blessed us more than I could have ever imagined.

Family is everything to us. My sisters & brother are my best friends and I'm thankful that I got to grow up with three siblings. We still love to spend time together & as often as we can. Ryan and I talk about a brother or sister for Magnolia almost every single day. We already have their names picked out! God knows how much we want her to grow up with siblings. If you've read my blog for some time you know that after my surgery for endometriosis we did IVF. Magnolia was our one & only embryo, out of six eggs retrieved she came from what we call my "golden egg!" The odds were very much against us, and I still get teary eyed when I share the story of her.

Infertility is a complex topic. I write this & share photos of our family with a heart overflowing with thankfulness, yet I share our desire to grow our family. In some ways I feel guilty to say we want more. It's almost like a feeling of "how dare I want more?" when it was so very difficult & questionable whether we'd even be blessed with our daughter. I have to remind myself that this feeling of guilt is not necessarily normal. Most couples, fortunately, add to their family as they wish.

Part of my guilt probably comes from the realization that there are couples out there still longing for their baby. There are women that fall to their knees sobbing every single month when they see only one line on the pregnancy test. There are couples out there that would do anything for a family. I think I struggle with openly saying that we want to grow our family when I feel the pain that comes with infertility. The struggle, the heartache, the financial burdens, & the unknown, are all painful truths of infertility. Here I am sharing our miracle, speaking of my gratitude for this child God has trusted us to raise, and we long for more!

Right now we are cherishing our little family. Magnolia is the light of our lives and we love watching her grow and change before our eyes. Our desire to grow our family is simply a conversation during this season. I pray every night, knowing the Lord has placed this desire in my heart for a reason, and I ask that he guides us in the direction we should go.

I realize that as we wish for our family to grow, there are children out there that long for a family. There are women at the other end of the spectrum that fall to their knees sobbing when they see two lines on the pregnancy test. I would love more than anything to carry another child in my body. Being pregnant was blissful & miraculous. We are thankful to know there are multiple ways we may grow our family.

We believe in miracles and to conceive naturally would be nothing short of a miracle. We may have a meeting with our reproductive endocrinologist to discuss another round of IVF. We may pursue adoption and/or foster care.

We've learned the most important lesson of all, already. Magnolia has taught us to trust in God's timing & to be thankful always.

Trust & wait for what is still unseen. Romans 8:24

We will give thanks for all of our blessings, the ones we have received, and the ones that are on their way.

To you: I'd like to wish you a season of gratitude & blessings with the ones you love.

Love XO
Wendy, Ryan, & Magnolia

Photos by Everly Photography 
My dress can be found here
Wendy Correen Smith
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