When I first met Ryan he was traveling every single week for work. Monday thru Friday gone. I remember telling him that I could not live like that. I couldn't handle him being gone that much. It felt like a long distance relationship in which I only got to see him on the weekends & holidays. He applied for other positions that would bring him home & we even thought about moving to California in order to get him off the road. All the while, deep in my heart, I feared he was only doing this to make me happy. I was worried because, as much as I knew he wanted to be at home with me, he also really loved his work. He loved getting up on Monday morning & heading to the airport to venture out to a new city. We prayed & we prayed & things didn't work out the way I had hoped during those first few years. He stayed in his current position & continued to travel often.

The weekends always seem to go by too fast. When I met Ryan he traveled for work and it was such a challenge being away from him all week long that I said "I cannot do it, I cannot miss you this much, always!" We were on the verge of moving to California to avoid all the travel. With time and his travel desires communicated to his superiors, he was able to find a balance between work and home that made us both feel comfortable.

With the exception of Ryan, my sisters, and closest friends & family, I've never been one to talk about anything medical related, and certainly not my condition which is even more personal than some other issues. 

I have endometriosis. 



What is endometriosis?
Why am I writing about this?
I'm sharing my story for three reasons. The first reason is that I've read blogs, websites, and magazine articles about other women that suffer from endometriosis and when I've read their story it brings me peace knowing that I'm not alone in this battle. And it helps to know that there is hope and treatment. My biggest inspiration comes from Kelle, the blogger behind Yellow Paper Dress. Her reflections about the disease, photographs, and her personal story brings me comfort in talking openly about it. The second reason is that I'm tired of living with the shame of hiding my condition. I cannot tell you how many times I've had to call-in sick to work and make-up excuses for missing events because every-single-month I'm in too much pain to leave the house. Not only does it cause physical pain, but there is a lot of emotional pain that comes along with hiding the fact that your monthly period is not normal, and you cannot live your life for one week of the month every month. My life revolves around avoiding parties, travel, and any kind of commitment for that one week when I know I'll be suffering. If you wonder what it feels like, read this post. The third reason I'm sharing my story is that there is no cure for endometriosis and there are many girls that are embarrassed (like I was) to talk about their symptoms. As awareness about the condition grows, and when women feel more comfortable talking about their bodies, medical research will be funded and hopefully someday there will be a cure. No more hush-hush about the topic!



My short and sweet story about endometriosis. 
I knew before I met Ryan that I had endometriosis. The endo actually caused me to cancel my first date with him, well kind of cancel. We were planning to go to the Plaza Art Fair, one of my very favorite events in Kansas City. I knew the night before that my period pains were getting worse, and I was actually awake all night from the pain & dread of having to tell him about my period (how embarrassing I thought!). The morning of our date I knew there was absolutely no way I could go on a first date --- walking miles and miles --- with the pain I was experiencing. I don't know what came over me, but I came straight out and told him the truth. I'm sure it went something like "I'm on my period, and I hurt so badly I cannot walk around the plaza all day. How about I just come over to your house and we'll cook dinner together?" He told me to come on over and then he even took me to the store to get Advil (which barely takes the edge off the pain, but I still try every month). I was in the bathroom every hour and I was hurting badly. I spent a lot of time on his sofa that day. Not what you'd imagine as a great first date, but in some ironic why I think being able to openly talk to him about the endo, and see his sweet nurturing side, made me fall in love with him even sooner. Since that day he has been very understanding and supportive. We travel a lot and he knows that we cannot book a trip unless we check my phone P-tracker app because I cannot travel when I'm on my period. We actually did take a trip to California, early in our relationship, and I was nervous I'd start my period while we were there. I thought about canceling the trip, but I was honestly sick and tired of letting it run my life. Well we went, and of course I started my period on the airplane. When we arrived we went straight to San Francisco to see the Golden Gate Bridge. I was hurting and trying to hide it. Then we went to eat by the water, and it was getting worse, but I was still trying to hide it. After lunch he wanted to take me shopping. I remember feeling hot and sweaty from the pain, and I had chills at the same time. Just imagine a hot curling iron inside your pelvic area, along with stabbing pains that feel like someone is cutting you from the inside out. I simply could not walk another step, as the pain was radiating down my legs. I think I started to cry, not only from the way I felt physically but also the pure disappointment of having to say "take me to the hotel room!" As always, he was beyond understanding, he was kind, loving and nurturing. Any guilt I felt about having to cancel a day of exploring the beautiful area, he took away, and made me feel safe and loved. I called my mom the next day to tell her about it. I also told her about Ryan putting wet towels in the microwave to put on my abdomen. I think she fell in love with him after that story. Since then we have avoided travel during my period because sad but true it DOES RUN MY LIFE! 
One of the scary issues that comes along with endometriosis is FERTILITY! Quite frankly endo makes it difficult to get pregnant. All that scar tissue blocks pregnancy. We've talked about having babies from the very beginning. I've dreamed of being a mom since I was five years old. When I first found out I had cysts on my ovaries (a common condition for endo) I thought I'd have to have surgery right away. Fortunately, my doctor told me I could wait until I was ready to have a baby because the best time to get pregnant is right after surgery when all the cysts and scar tissue have been removed, because it will come back. 
Here we are newlyweds and it is time for me to have laparoscopy. I just had my pre-op appointment today and I should have my surgery scheduled by mid-week. I hope we can do it early November. I'm equally nervous and excited about the surgery! One week after the surgery we'll have a post-op meeting with my doctor and we'll discuss the next steps to pregnancy. Many times the laparoscopy is all that is needed for women with endometriosis. I hope and pray that is all that we'll need and that we can have a baby in 2016! 

The ROSE Project --- exciting things are happening for endometriosis. 



Endometriosis Sources & Articles:

Endometriosis Foundation of America, founded by Padma Lakshmi the host of Bravo's Emmy award winning "Top Chef" 

People article Dancing with the Stars' Julianne Hough: 'I Was Really Scared'

My favorite blogger on the topic, Kelle, openly talks about her Endo on Yellow Paper Dress 

Thanks for reading my story. Someday I'll share more details about the condition because it's more than just pain, but for now, I'm going to focus on laparoscopy and pregnancy! 

xo Wen

Good morning loves! 

I want to share a little update about our journey to baby Smith and our IVF progress. The time from egg retrieval to now tested my faith and strength in ways I've never experienced before, and quite honestly I wasn't prepared for this part of the journey. I guess I can't say I'm really prepared for any of it, but I try to do my research and understand what is coming, but for some reason this was a step I had missed. I waited by the phone every single day to hear from our embryologist so she could give us an update on our embabies. It was tough, but it taught me so much about letting go, trusting God, and realizing that I have absolutely zero control over what happens in those Petri dishes. Ryan reminded me that worrying would not change the outcome, and I'm going to admit that worry and self doubt came to my mind at least a thousand times. I spent a lot of time in prayer! I literally had to tell myself "I am strong, I am brave, I will be mother" over and over again. It was a battle. It was a battle to keep the fearful thoughts at bay. My hands would start to shake when she called with updates. Take the passion and desire to be a mother, add in a crazy amount of hormones, the fact that I'm a work in progress when it comes to letting go, and imagine the intensity of waiting! My sisters and mom were waiting for updates every day, half the time they were calling for updates before I had them and I would get excited thinking it was the embryologist calling and then the phone would say "Hay Hay" - I love that girl with my whole heart- but in those moments I wanted to see my doctor's name on the phone. It meant a lot to me knowing that they were experiencing the "wait" right along with us. I'm so very thankful for them! With Ryan's love and support, and my mom and sisters' faithful enthusiasm, I survived this week and learned some major lessons. I was telling my sister, after her sweet texts that always touched me deeply to tears, that I just fill so raw. I feel like I've been ripped open and all my emotions are just flowing out like a river. There is no doubt that God's plan includes lessons along the way to parenthood. In many of my prayers I ask that I see clearly what I am to learn. I know that I will be different person after all of this, we aren't even half way finished, and I can tell I'm already changing. 

We are going to Nashville this month for Ry's birthday and we went to Charleston and Clearwater for mine in April. I'm just now getting around to editing and sharing the photos from my Canon camera. I figured I should work on the photos from that trip before our next vacation! I did an Instagram post on Charleston that you can read here. 

Ryan asking me to the Eric Church concert was the beginning of "us." Things like this keep happening. Our hotel in Charleston was coincidentally on Church Street. 


"I do believe in an everyday sort of magic -- the inexplicable connectedness we sometimes experience with places, people, works of art and the like; the eerie appropriateness of moments of synchronicity; the whispered voice, the hidden presence, when we think we're alone." - Charles de Lint




























More snapshots from our vacation - the Instagrams. I used an app called Social Print Studio to print all of our vaca Instagram photos. You can follow them on Instagram @socialps - the photos are great quality and it's a wonderful feeling to have the photos actually in your hand. I printed photo strips too, they are randomly hanging directly on the walls throughout our home. 
























Follow along for our next adventure in Nashville on Instagram @wendycorreen

We can't wait to visit some of these restaurants in Nashville here. 

Cheers! 
xo Wen