It's National Infertility Awareness Week & families, professionals, corporate partners & the media are coming together to talk about the way lives are forever changed with the struggle to build a family.

As I was thinking about what I wanted to say, I was brought back to a cold November day when I was sitting on an exam table. I was one week post-op from laparoscopy for severe endometriosis. My body ached, but my soul ached stronger. I remember hearing my doctor say, "you need to do IVF if you want to have a baby." I had no idea how much would happen in that exact same exam room over the next three years. The moment IVF was spoken panic came over me. At that time IVF was a very dreadful word. IVF was going to be expensive, risky, involve hundreds of needles, countless exams & procedures, & all of that without a guarantee of a baby.

Hello! I hope you had the most magical Easter weekend.

We celebrated all weekend long & it was truly the best Easter ever. I wasn't sure we'd ever top our first Easter with our Magnolia --- our literal golden egg, but we did. And then last Easter was one of the worst days of my life. After losing our baby on Easter Sunday last year, I was determined to make up for it this year. I remember sitting on the sofa last year, body shaking from what I had gone through physically & emotionally, feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness. We watched an Easter service on TV & the message of hope in the midst of tragedy was carried in my heart all year long.

A few weeks ago my sister asked me to photograph my nephew, Ollie, for his third birthday. He wants all things airplane for his party. My sister made arrangements with a family friend to have photographs taken with their airplane. She just knew Ollie would be thrilled, and he was, especially when he was able to get inside the cockpit & touch all the buttons with the pilot headset on. Now Magnolia is obsessed with airplanes & is fascinated with them flying in the huge sky above.

On Sunday I woke up 38 years old. To be real, I must tell you I woke up with a sore throat & that made me one lovely birthday grouch! Ryan got up with Magnolia while I laid in bed a bit longer. When I got up, coffee was ready & pancakes were being made. And our sweet girl was walking around in her diaper, super excited, to tell me "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!" over & over again. She is obsessed with all things birthday related. If she sees a candle it's a cue to sing one of her favorite songs in the cutest little voice ever.

It's crazy to think that Magnolia has a baby brother or sister in Heaven. Miscarriage is such a sad & hard thing to talk about. Last year, after we found out our baby's heart had stopped beating, I shared the news on a blog post. I never came back to talk about what happened after my body finally decided to let it go. It was just too hard to talk about & all I wanted was for life to carry on. It's still really hard to talk about, but it's been a year now so I'm sharing a little bit about it.