When Ryan got home from work yesterday Magnolia was napping on the sofa in her Dockatot. He immediately went over to her and just stared, he looked up at me and said "you MADE this!" And I just smiled big and said, "well so did you!" I knew what he meant though, my body grew this little tiny human. The world is filled with billions of people, all grown and born by their mothers, and yet this one little miracle baby has put us in a state of complete amazement. She is our baby girl and this new love we have for her, and one another, is beyond measure.
We hold her and study her and we try our hardest to slow down time. Each morning we wake up and we notice she's just a little bigger and her personality is a tad more unique. We know this time is fleeting and we are trying to bottle it all up and cherish each moment.
Sometimes when I'm holding her I think about the prayers I said when my heart was aching for her. I think about the IVF process and the fact that she was our one and only embryo to survive. We knew then that the odds were very much against us with only one embryo to transfer, and yet we prayed and believed that she was our baby, and now she is our living proof of faith. I still pray every night with tears running down my face and thank God with all my soul for blessing us with her. I don't think I'll ever forget the depth of my desire that longed for her or the strength of the prayers I said as I asked for her. She's changed us in so many ways, and I never knew it was possible, but the ache and desire for her has now turned to the deepest kind of love and gratitude that I've ever known.
From the moment I met Ryan I knew he'd be the best daddy. He has a very tender and gentle side to him. I love to quietly sit back and watch him care for our Magnolia. He's truly a natural. Before her, he'd never cared for a newborn before, and he had only held a few babies in his lifetime. When she was born he stepped into the roll of daddy like he'd been doing it his whole life. I love the way he talks to her and tells her she's the most beautiful girl in the world, and the way she holds on to his pinky finger and won't let go, to the way he sits next to me on the sofa and watches me nurse her with the biggest smile on his face. He takes care of us and we are blessed.
Ryan is great about doing tummy time with her. Last week, when she was three weeks old, he had her on her tummy and she wasn't happy about it. I was on the sofa and he was down on the floor next to her. He looked up at me and said "she just rolled over!" We couldn't believe our eyes, but fortunately we were both in the room to witness it, otherwise we may not have believed it. The next day Ryan was doing tummy time with her again and just as he had laid her down he went to grab his phone to record it and when he got back she had already rolled over to her back! She is such a strong little girl and can already hold her head up for what seems like a long time. She loves to take bubble baths before bedtime in the kitchen sink with her lavender soap. Her fingers, toes, and legs are very long. She definitely got her fingers and toes from me! Everyone says she looks just like her daddy and that was my first thought when I saw her for the first time. Her blue eyes get bigger each day. She loves to have her diaper changed and seems to pee on her daddy a lot more often than me. She is a little piggy and likes to eat almost every hour and when she is hungry you'd think she was starving. When she does decide to take a snooze it's usually on my chest and she's getting better at sleeping a few hour stretches at night time. I try to swaddle her but she really prefers to sleep with her hands tucked up next to her face or above her head. Watching her personality develop is the highlight of my days!
When we go into her nursery she looks around with much excitement. She doesn't sleep in her crib yet, but when she is in there she just stares off at her floral wallpaper and I have a feeling she likes it.
Newborn photos taken when she was only six days old by Everly Photography
With love from Wen, Ry, and Magnolia
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